Our relationship with food is one of the most complex and emotional parts of being human. In a recent conversation with Jessica Setnick, an eating disorder specialist, author, and international speaker, we explored the myths, cultural baggage, and hidden truths about how we eat and why it matters.
If you’ve ever felt guilty about your food choices or wondered why food seems tied to emotions, identity, and even morality, this article will shed light on the seven truths that can transform how you think about eating.
1. Your Relationship with Food Is More Than What You Eat
Jessica explained that your relationship with food isn’t about nutrients—it’s about the beliefs, feelings, and values you attach to eating. Pizza doesn’t actually “make you guilty,” nor do french fries cause shame. Those emotions are mirrors reflecting how you already feel about yourself.
This insight shifts the focus away from labeling foods as “good” or “bad” and back onto self-awareness.
2. Childhood Messages Shape How We Eat Today
Nearly everyone remembers being told, “Finish everything on your plate, there are starving children in [insert country].” While often meant as lessons of love, these inherited rules can harm our ability to listen to our bodies.
Jessica calls her mission “healing your inner eater,” which means examining not just your childhood habits but also the food experiences of the people who raised you. Cultural history—war rationing, poverty, or scarcity—gets passed down as eating behaviors, often unconsciously.
3. Ignoring Hunger Cues Steals Body Autonomy
Many children are told, “You can’t be hungry yet” or “Eat now because it’s dinner time.” This overrides their natural hunger cues and teaches them not to trust their own bodies.
Respecting food boundaries builds confidence. The same child who says, “I’m not hungry” may one day be the teen who confidently says “No” to peer pressure. Honoring body autonomy at the table builds resilience for life.
4. Food Is Cultural, Emotional, and Personal
From Thanksgiving dinners to family recipes, food evokes powerful memories. But as Jessica reminded us, those associations aren’t universal. For one person, Thanksgiving is warm and comforting; for another, it’s linked to family conflict or loss.
Your relationship with food is uniquely yours. That’s why blanket diets and one-size-fits-all nutrition rules are not just misleading—they’re harmful.
As Jessica put it: “There are literally no two people who need the exact same things with eating.”
5. Diet Culture Profits from Fear
From “red, yellow, green food lists” to influencers pushing miracle supplements, the diet industry thrives on fear. Jessica called many of these programs predatory because they tell you what not to eat without ever showing you how to nourish yourself.
Freedom with food doesn’t mean eating cookies all day—it means releasing guilt, embracing balance, and choosing foods that both nourish and satisfy.
For a deeper dive into how food culture exploits fear, see this Harvard Health article on diet myths.
6. Thoughts About Food Are Just Thoughts
One of Jessica’s most freeing insights: “Don’t believe everything you think.”
Guilt after eating? That’s a thought, not truth. Fear of carbs? Also just a thought. Writing down these thoughts—whether in a journal, on sticky notes, or in your phone—creates distance. It helps you see that feelings aren’t reality, they’re temporary.
This simple practice can be a first step toward healing your relationship with food.
7. What You Eat Doesn’t Make You a Good or Bad Person
Perhaps the most powerful truth of all: your worth has nothing to do with what you eat.
Jessica ended the conversation with this reminder: “What you eat doesn’t make you a good or bad person.”
This liberates us from shame and judgment—whether it comes from strangers commenting on your grocery cart or from your own inner critic.
How to Begin Healing Your Relationship with Food
- Write it down. Capture your food-related thoughts and feelings without judgment.
- Seek professional help. A dietitian specializing in eating disorders can help you sort feelings from facts.
- Challenge all-or-nothing thinking. A balanced diet allows room for both nutrient-dense foods and joyful indulgences.
- Respect individuality. Just like fingerprints, no two food journeys are alike.
For those interested in more materials, Jessica offers a dedicated page of Free Resources designed to help individuals untangle their food stories.
Final Reflection
Food is more than fuel—it’s tied to memory, culture, identity, and self-worth. By embracing these seven truths, you can release guilt, reclaim autonomy, and rediscover joy in eating.
For more conversations like this, explore past episodes of the Rosabel Unscripted Podcast where we dive into authentic, unscripted stories that remind us we’re not alone.
Connect with Jessica Setnick
If Jessica’s insights resonated with you, don’t miss the chance to connect directly with her:
- 🌐 Visit her website: jessicasetnick.com
- 📘 Explore free tools: Free Resources
- ✉️ Reach out via email: jessica@jessicasetnick.com
- 🔗 Follow on LinkedIn or connect on Facebook
Jessica continues to create healing spaces through her speaking, writing, and workshops—helping people all over the world build healthier relationships with food.
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